$1.34 worth of anger, so not worth the cost...

A few days ago, I went to Goodwill to pick up a few things. After making my selections, I headed up to the check out. There were 4 people in front of me and one person was working. The cashier paged the manager and asked for help, but was told that they were "in a meeting." Um, OK. Perhaps it's the retail manager in me talking (and I do realize this is Goodwill, not Target) but, in my opinion, someone should have come to help. By this time there were now 4 more people behind me, so this one cashier was trying to assist 9 people with no one else on the floor to do anything to assist her.

After finishing with the first person, the cashier runs into a problem with the second. She calls again for help. By now I am getting angry... not at the cashier but at the lack of concern that the management seems to have for either customer or employee. (They had not even looked out to see what the circumstance might be in regards to business in the store.) As she calls for help, I say "If they don't come now to help, I'll get on there and talk to them." (meaning the pager system.) When the manager replies back with "what do you need" I yell in a loud voice, "She needs you to get up here and help her!"

The manager strolls to the front to begin to help. Apparently the customer didn't have enough money on the card she used and needed to pay another way. They would need to reverse the entire transaction and start over. Really? At this point I threw my items in an empty basket sitting nearby, said, "I don't need any of this that bad!" and walked out.

The very next day, I read this in my Bible:

"Take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires. Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you" ~ James 1:19-21

"anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires." Wow. Talk about a well deserved slap in the face! There was absolutely NOTHING accomplished through my anger. It didn't help the cashier to get the help she deserved. It didn't treat the other customers with any respect. It didn't honor God in any way whatsoever.

To top it all off: The James Bible Study I am participating in had this challenge for the week: Find an opportunity to be a blessing to someone else... As I reflected back on this event, I was made aware of what I didn't listen to (be quick to listen) when the problem arose at Goodwill... the customer was short $1.34! How easy it would have been for me to pay the difference for her and let her go on her way. Instead, I let me anger get the best of me...

I'd like to say this was the first time I'd walked out of a situation in anger, but unfortunately, it is not. I'm confessing today that I have an anger issue... and I have a problem with "walking out" when I should stay and be part of the solution. It is my prayer that with God's help, I will develop a life of humility and overcome the anger that holds me captive. The fact is, walking away has cost me a lot and I no longer want to pay.

"But the man who looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues to do this, not forgetting what he has heard, but doing it—he will be blessed in what he does." ~James 1:25

A sure foundation

"There comes a time to drive a stake in the ground and lay claim to one life, one focused goal, and one God." ~ Beth Moore in James, Mercy Triumphs

Those who know me, know that I'm a wanderer... I don't often stay put for very long and have moved numerous times in the last 30 years. In fact, it got to where my nomadic tendencies became ingrained into my very being. It was a point of identity for me.

Today, I'm reading and reflecting on these words from James:

"If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously and without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks he should not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That man should not think that he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does." ~James 1:5-8

While there are many things I have taken from this study today, there is one point that I feel I need to focus on and be thankful to the Lord for helping me to deal with in my own life. Over the past three or four years, I believe God has been dealing with my nomadic tendencies and helping me to better see how my constant moves have not only been unhealthy for me, but have also been evidence of my lack of faith in Him to meet my needs. I have wandered from one place to another and one opportunity to another, constantly hoping to find the "next best thing" for my life. In doing so I have removed any stability that I may have hoped to have in my life.

In all my wanderings I never stopped long enough to genuinely ask: "Julie, what are you looking for? What is is that you think you need?" and I certainly didn't intentionally ask God to provide wisdom for the decisions I was making. Isaiah 33:6 says, "He [God] will be the sure foundation for your times, a rich store of salvation and wisdom and knowledge; the fear of the Lord is the key to His treasures."

Oh, how I need a sure foundation! I look back and see how weary my wavering has made me... and then I stop and thank God for the stability that He is bringing to my life. Certainly, it is still a work in process because I am not always a good student for the lessons He is teaching me. And yet, I find JOY in seeing how He is taking all the ways that He has created me and is molding them into a life that I truly love and that allows me to be of service to Him.

Looking back at James' words, there is one phrase that really speaks to my heart: "without finding fault." I hope that speaks to you, too. Just think, when we have been floundering about, trying to make decisions on our own and moving willy-nilly through life... and when we finally get around to asking God for wisdom... He doesn't throw our past failures in our face. Instead He generously gives us the wisdom we desire. Praise God for His loving kindness that meets our every need!

Pound Puppies

Have you ever adopted a pet from an animal shelter? My brother, Joe, has a Rottweiler named Boxcar that he rescued from the shelter. (He was quite literally on the cusp of being euthanized.) After spending time in a cage at the shelter, Boxcar loved the wide open spaces. He got to Joe's house and never looked back!  In fact, while he readily got into the car for the ride home from the shelter, it was a very long time before Joe could convince him to get into a vehicle again. It was like he said, "Hey, I've found my way home and I'm not ever going away again... especially if it means going back to where I've come from!" Do you think that Boxcar still focuses on where he came from, or that he lives each day happy for where he is? He may have thought about and worried about where he had been for a long time, afraid he'd have to go back there. Eventually, he surely decided to just enjoy where he had arrived. He had come home!

What about you? Do you look back on life and think: "Man, I was really living in the pound!" Perhaps that's not true in the sense of a physical place, but maybe it is true of the place you found yourself spiritually and emotionally. Your life wasn't exactly what you'd hope it would turn out to be. You found yourself "caged in" ...held captive to your sin. Then, one day, you were set free. Jesus came and rescued you from the pound. He brought you out into a spacious place. So my question to you is this: Are you focusing on the place you have been rescued from? Or are you enjoying the place you have you have been brought home to? Are you looking back at the ones who held you captive, or are you looking forward towards the one who set you free? As Beth Moore has said: "Without Jesus in our lives, we identify with what we have been delivered from rather than who we have been deliver to." Are you living a life of freedom, or fear?

 ¹⁶ He reached down from on high and took hold of me;
   he drew me out of deep waters.
¹⁷ He rescued me from my powerful enemy,
   from my foes, who were too strong for me.
¹⁸ They confronted me in the day of my disaster,
   but the LORD was my support.
¹⁹ He brought me out into a spacious place;
   he rescued me because he delighted in me.

                                                                   ~Psalm 19

Who's getting your leftovers?

For those who don't know, I'm an innkeeper for a bed and breakfast. I love my job because I love to cook! One of the dishes I often prepare is a baked oatmeal dish that happens to be a house favorite. I got the recipe from one of my guests, who said she got it from an inn located in Pennsylvania. According to my guest, this inn would make a big batch and then reheat it as needed for guests. I'll say that I've had it reheated and it really is quite tasty the second time around... still, I can't bring myself to serve leftovers to my guests.

It just seems to me that my guests deserve my best and, while the baked oatmeal is perfectly fine reheated, it isn't fresh... it isn't my best. And so, I save the leftovers for myself and cook up a fresh batch. I do this even if I just made it the day before and I have a new guest who wouldn't suspect it was left over. I would know that it is leftover and that isn't good enough. 

Recently, I read a devotional that challenged me to consider: Am I feeding Jesus my leftovers? And more importantly, am I feeding Jesus my leftovers while I feast on the best morsels myself? I have looked back and evaluated my time and how I've spent it. There are many days when I have plenty of time to "do as I please" because there isn't anything scheduled in my day. (I don't mean that I have nothing that needs to be done, just that there isn't a specific time schedule for completing the task, or a specific place to be at a specific time.) So often I find myself playing on the computer or watching TV... things that are not bad, but things that are not (or at least shouldn't be) big priorities in my life. I realize on some days that I've not bothered to spend even a few minutes in prayer, or studying my Bible, or doing anything that would give me the opportunity to spend time with Jesus, whom I claim to love.

It has been said that if you want to get to know someone better you should spend time with them. Not just a moment here or there, but quality time that allows for communication and growth of the relationship. If I really want to be like Jesus in the way I live my day to day life, I have to spend time with Him... and not just the time that is "left over" after I've done everything I want/need to do. He wants my first fruits. He deserves my first fruits!

Lord, forgive me for giving you what is left of my day. Sadly some days that means you get nothing. I want to place you first in my life, not last. Help me to find self-discipline in this area so that I can know you and love you more fully.

Fools rush in...

So, I'm still thinking about the words "speaking the truth in love" and about the importance of having brothers and sisters in Christ who are willing to do just that. 

Today I was chatting with a friend and during our conversation, I recalled this quote from me: "The only thing worse than making a fool of yourself is having your friends sit back and watch you do it." I can still recall the situation that birthed these words from my mouth.

I've decided to change the specific details (to protect the innocent, of course), but here's the scenario. I met a guy we'll call Mike and thought we might have potential to be more than just friends. However, due to my "incredible" (NOT) track record in this area of my life, I didn't trust myself to be a good judge of the situation. I asked a few of my friends, who knew Mike better than I did, to tell me if there were any "red flags" that I should be aware of... and they said nothing. Several months later, AFTER Mike and I had ceased to be friends, one of Mike's relatives asked me, "So, do you think Mike is involved with drugs?" (not the real question, just protecting the innocent again). I asked my friends, who I had requested honest feedback from, if they thought that drugs were an issue with Mike. They said, "Well, we weren't sure... we had sort of heard that, but we could be certain... so we thought we'd just keep our mouths shut." WOW. OK, thanks. Glad you've got my back. 

I do understand that they didn't want to spread gossip, but that's not what I'm talking about here. It is different to spread a tale (whether true or false) if the only motive is to get a gasp of shock and an opportunity to talk negatively about someone, so that we can feel better about ourselves. It is another thing all together to make someone aware of a situation they may want to  approach with caution. 

Don't be silent. You never know how your words will be used to bring wisdom and understanding to a situation. You never know how your words may help a friend to avoid a life time of pain and sorrow. Your words have the power to heal, to bring reconciliation, to correct errors... to LOVE. 

Speaking the TRUTH in LOVE

I wonder how often we stop to think about the power of our words? We have the power in our tongues to build up or tear down, heal or hurt. The tiniest of words can cause the greatest of pain or the greatest of joy. It is all a matter of how we choose. Here are a few examples that I've seen play out via the wonders of facebook: 

 

Example one: a friend has been hurt by those she thought were her friends. They have lashed at her and hurt her deeply. She has a choice to make: Does she fight back with her own hurtful words? Should she ignore their words? 

 

Example two: a friend observes behavior that seems inappropriate or that has in someway offended. Does she overlook the offense? Should she speak up and let the offender know how she feels? 

 

 Example three: A person reads something that is full of grammatical and spelling errors (perhaps this very blog). Does he proceed to publicly comment on the "lack of education" and "ignorance" of the individual? Should he point the errors out privately? Would it be better to overlook the errors and focus on the message instead? 

 

In each of these instances there are more things that need to be considered. On the one hand, what might be the consequences of speaking up? How will my words be received? What will the other person or people think of me because I choose to speak up? Will I make enemies or friends by what I say? On the other hand, what are the consequences for remaining silent? Will I have missed an opportunity to be a healing balm or a corrective voice to another? Will a wrong be perpetuated because I choose to overlook it? 

Do we consider the consequences of the choices we make? I like this advice: Before [you] say something to or about someone else, [you] should ask [yourself]: “Is it kind? Is it true? Is it necessary?” Good advice! It reminds me of the Apostle Paul's admonishment that we should "speak the truth in love."(Ephesians 4:15)

The five little words "speak the truth in love" carry a tall order. What must we do in order to fulfill this Word from the Lord? How do we know what the truth is? 

There are several places in scripture where we are told to speak truth. Here are a few: 

"These are the things you are to do: Speak the truth to each other, and render true and sound judgment in your courts; do not plot evil against your neighbor, and do not love to swear falsely. I hate all this,” declares the LORD." ~Zechariah 8:26-17

•  ¹ LORD, who may dwell in your sanctuary?
     Who may live on your holy hill?
   ² He whose walk is blameless
     and who does what is righteous,
  who speaks the truth from his heart
   ³ and has no slander on his tongue,
  who does his neighbor no wrong
     and casts no slur on his fellowman,
  ⁴ who despises a vile man
     but honors those who fear the LORD,
  who keeps his oath
     even when it hurts,
  ⁵ who lends his money without usury
     and does not accept a bribe against the innocent.
     He who does these things
     will never be shaken.  ~Psalm 15
  

So we see that God wants us to speak truth. However, we are not to do so harshly and without caring for the person to whom we are speaking. We also find scripture that ties together truth with love, gentleness and humility: 

 "Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth." ~1 Corinthians 13:6

Now that you have purified yourselves by obeying the truth so that you have sincere love for each other, love one another deeply, from the heart. ~ 1 Peter 1:21

My little children, let us not love in word or in tongue, but in deed and in truth.   ~1 John 3:18

Dear brothers and sisters, if another believer is overcome by some sin, you who are godly should gently and humbly help that person back onto the right path. And be careful not to fall into the same temptation yourself. ~Galatians 6:1

But avoid foolish and ignorant disputes, knowing that they generate strife. And a servant of the Lord must not quarrel but be gentle to all, able to teach, patient, in humility correcting those who are in opposition, if God perhaps will grant them repentance, so that they may know the truth, and that they may come to their senses and escape the snare of the devil, having been taken captive by him to do his will. ~ 2 Timothy 2:23-26

So, first, we ask our self: "Is what I want to say TRUE?" It takes a great deal of prayer, requesting that the Holy Spirit reveal the truth of the matter. We can easily get caught up in our own prejudices and develop a clouded view of the situation. We must learn to look through Jesus' eyes an not our own. 

 

Once we have arrived at the truth, we must then ask if it is necessary to speak up. Will speaking up make things better?  If so, better for who and in what way? It is not enough to speak the truth. If our motivation is to "be right" in an argument or to seem "smarter" then we are not likely to be speaking the truth in love.  Is someone in danger? Is harm being done? So we must first consider out motivation. Why do we feel it is necessary to speak up?

Now that we've decided to speak up, we must ask if the words we have chosen are "kind." Remember, our words have the opportunity to hurt or heal. Even when another person is wrong or has wronged someone, they are still people of value in Jesus' eyes. (He died for them, too... even if they aren't yet ready to accept that truth.) We must approach with a sincere heart, prepared to lovingly correct the situation. 

 

Obviously, our words (no matter how well intended) won't always be received well. If we have sincerely attempted to obediently follow the Spirit's leading in how we approach the situation, we must then release the results of our obedience into His hands. We cannot force another to accept the word we attempt to deliver. In the end, we are to "obey God and not man" (Acts 5:29).

Well, this blog has ended up much longer than I expected and I'm not sure I've made sense... normally, I would go back and read it again, but it's late and I'm tired. So, having attempted to speak the truth in love, I'll just leave it in God's hands, praying that you "may grow up in all things into Him who is the head— that is, Christ— from whom the whole body, joined and knit together by what every joint supplies, according to the effective working by which every part does its share, causes growth of the body for the edifying of itself in love." ~Ephesians 4:15-16

Choose Christ and His Ways.

 Today in church we held The John Wesley Covenant Renewal Service. This service is an opportunity to make a new commitment to "choose Christ and His ways." There are so many challenges found within this covenant and I love that WFMC revisits the covenant each year as a way to begin the clean slate that is placed before us on January 1. I try to find at least one gem to carry with me through the year ahead. The thing that the Lord speaks most strongly to me during this season of my life. So, this blog is about what I believe is my challenge for 2012. 

 Here are the paragraphs that I'm keeping before me today: 

"And because You require, as the condition of our peace with You, that we should put away idols, we here and now from the bottom of our hears renounce them all. We firmly covenant with You not to allow ourselves to continue in any known sin. We will, instead, conscientiously use all means that we know You have prescribed for the death and utter destruction of everything that corrupts us."

 We humbly affirm before Your glorious Majesty that it is the firm resolution of our hearts to forsake all that is dear to us in this world, rather than to turn from You to the ways of sin. We will guard ourselves against all temptations, whether from prosperity or poverty, pleasure or pain, so that they may never draw our hearts away from You."

 Those are a couple loaded paragraphs and there is so much that challenges me. These words contain a tall order to fill; I have so many places in my life that need to be addressed. It would be easy to become overwhelmed! So, I want to start out simple. NOTE: This is not about making a "New Years Resolution"... those seem to be made to be broken. This is about Choosing Christ and His Ways.

1. I will spend regular time in intentional prayer, including time praying God's Word and listening for HIS guidance. I will set aside at least 1 hour each day to spend in these activities. 
2. I will make choices in my day to day living that recognize that my body is God's temple. I will honor His temple by treating it with the respect it deserves. This includes, but is not limited to: eating healthy foods in appropriate portions, being physically and mentally active so that I will honor God with my body and my mind. 
3. I will intentionally seek opportunities to be His hands, feet and voice. I will not take the credit for acts of service, but will humbly remember that I can do all things through Him and I am nothing without Him. 

I am giving you, the reader of this blog, permission to do the following: 

1. Ask me to pray for you. Ask me if I have remembered to pray for you. Ask me what the Lord has spoken to me today. If I can't give an answer, don't let it go. Speak the truth in Love and help me to be a better person. 
2. If you see me making unhealthy choices about my physical or mental well being, please challenge me! Call me on it. Again, speak the truth in love.. It's so true that sometimes the truth hurts, but don't let fear of hurting me keep you from doing what is right for me. You see, so often when we see our brother or sister in sin, we don't want to say anything for fear that we might offend. However, in the long run, if we let our brother or sister continue in sin we are doing a far greater damage than if we had taken a moment to give honest and loving correction.
3. If you know about opportunities where I can be of service, please invite me in! AND if you catch me in a prideful moment, please let me know. I most often catch myself in the "hidden" pride that says "do it yourself." I often neglect to let others come along side in the work that I'm doing. Failing to allow others to be involved in the work I'm lead to accomplish denies others of their own God appointed opportunities to serve. If it seems that the task before me becomes more about my accomplishment than God's ministry speak up! I NEED to know (even when I think I don't WANT to know.

This request to God is written in the covenant, and I ask you to be God's voice to me in answering this prayer: 

"I humbly beg You that if You see any flaw or falsehood in my resolve, reveal it to me and help me put it right."

May 2012 hold all God's biggest and best blessings for you. May you find Joy around every corner and find peace in your heart and in your home. May you be His humble servant all the days of your life, that those who do not yet know Him might meet Him through you and Choose Christ and His Ways for life.