Cracked pots and wilted flowers

I walked into the flower shop carrying the pottery vase with its large cracks on either side. Placing the vase on the counter, I waited patiently for Rosie to finish her phone conversation.

"Rosie, I want you to use this vase and make a beautiful arrangement for me. My only request is that you select flowers that you would not normally use." I smiled at her confusion.

"What do you mean?" she inquired.

"I want you to choose flowers that are flawed, ones that you would normally throw away... Oh, and I do plan to pay for them, I'm not looking for something free." Her puzzled look told me that further explanation was necessary.

"The flower arrangement is to be a visual representation of the God who loves us."

"You see this vase? It is evident, looking at the pot, that it certainly collapsed sometime during the curing process, resulting in the two large tears on either side.  Most of us would have been inclined to toss the pot aside and start over. However, the potter did not. He chose to take the flaws and work them into his creation."

"I want you to do the same with your creation. Take that which would normally be discarded and make it beautiful... imperfect, but beautiful."

Rosie, an artist who is determined to give only her very best, reluctantly agreed to my request. I left her to ponder the challenge, anxious to see what she might create for me. 

When I returned several hours later, Rosie presented me with her offering. Many would notice where she had trimmed away dead leaves and petals from some flowers and had sculpted others with just a small trim around the edges.  Some would find the wire and glue where she had mended some of the stems and petals. All would see the beauty.

Looking at the arrangement, which is sitting on my table, I reflect upon the God who inspired me to request such a creation. He is a God who will take me just as I am, flaws and all. In His gentle hands, He takes me and molds me. He shapes me into something beautiful. He uses my flaws and weaknesses and melds them, with His strength, into something beautiful.

The Presence of God

<sup>Yesterday I had the opportunity to catch up with a friend I hadn't spoken with for some time. We often have wonderful spiritual conversations that encourage me and challenge me in my faith. My friend shared with me that she felt it had been a very long time since she sensed the presence of God. Her faith remained, yet I sensed that she felt distant from God. 

I spent a brief time praying for God to make Himself known to her in unique ways that would make it obvious that He was with her. I also prayed that if there were any barriers (distractions or demons), in the way of her knowing His Presence that He would tear those barriers down and make the pathway to His throne clear.

When we are in love, we desperately want to know the presence of the one we love. It is difficult when our beloved feels distant. 

God promises that if we come near to Him, He will come near to us (James 4:8). This verse also says that we are to wash our hands and purify our hearts. In our relationship with God, it is important to examine our lives to see if there are things that might be in the way of us drawing near to Him.</sup> This is the action of allowing God to search our hearts and minds (Psalm 139:23).  We join King David in praying (Psalm 51): 

¹⁰ Create in me a pure heart, O God,
    and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
¹¹ Do not cast me from your presence
    or take your Holy Spirit from me.
¹² Restore to me the joy of your salvation
    and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.

^{We need to remember that true love is rooted in more than just feelings. Certainly, there is great emotion tied to the experience of love. However, something deeper must be present. The description of love found in 1 Corinthians 13 goes much deeper than feelings:}

 ⁴ Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

It takes more than emotions to live up to this highest ideal of love. All of the actions above are only possible as a conscious decision. We aren't always going to feel God's presence.

I think that this sense of missing God's presence also appears in the apparent silence of God. We pray, but don't hear His answer. Like Job, we trust in the sovereignty of God, yet we wonder why when we call out we hear no reply. 

It is in these times that we must persevere. James reminds us of this, as he refers to the prophets and, yes, even Job, as examples of those who persevered. (See James 5:10-12) We must continue to commune with God. He promises "You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." (Jeremiah 29:13)

Keep your eyes and ears open... at just the right time, the God who loves you will show Himself to you in ways you never imagined! 

Lent - Fashion statement or undergarment?

I am currently participating in a Bible Study on Jesus' Sermon on the Mount. Today's lesson covered fasting and, given that we are currently in the season of Lent, my mind quickly went to recent conversations about fasting during the Lenten Season.

“When you fast, do not look somber as the hypocrites do, for they disfigure their faces to show others they are fasting. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. But when you fast, put oil on your head and wash your face, so that it will not be obvious to others that you are fasting, but only to your Father, who is unseen; and your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you" (Matthew 6:16-18).

Jesus gives emphasis to making fasting a private matter. One's decision to fast is something that is between the individual and God. When we make our "sacrifice" a public matter, we are told that we receive our reward from others, rather than the reward that God gives.  I wonder what heavenly reward we sacrifice for the sake of sympathy or praise from man?

The question is: what is the purpose for fasting? This time of year, I think it is tempting to fast because "everybody is doing it." You might say it's fashionable.

Angela Thomas (Living Your Life as a Beautiful Offering) discussed four purposes for fasting. Having looked over her thoughts, I made up this acronym using the word FAST:  
Focus - I spend more time focusing on God, learning to hear His voice.
Awareness - I recognize things that control me or consume time better dedicated to Him.
Sustenance - I remember that God supplies all my needs.
Tranquility - I find a healthy spiritual balance as I maintain discipline in my life.

This lesson has been helpful to me as I consider fasting for Lent and beyond. It has moved me to reconsider the why and when. Fasting is more than a fashion style that I wear for a season. It is my own private discipline -- undergarments, if you will. The thing about undergarments is that they aren't for the public to see; however, choosing the right undergarments can certainly make any outfit look and fit better!

Reflections on a Letter from a friend - Pt 3

It's interesting how, when we are faced with our sins, we may be willing to approach some of the easier ones.... but then there are others, usually the greater ones, that we'd rather just sweep under the rug and forget about. Today, the Lord decided to move the rug and call me to deal with one of my greatest sins.  My Bible reading for today included Psalm 17 and this verse jumped off the page:

"Though you probe my heart and examine me at night,
    though you test me, you will find nothing;
    I have resolved that my mouth will not sin." (V3)

While I am not one to make "resolutions" at the beginning of the new year, after reading your letter, I did set a goal to be more careful of what I speak about and the attitude behind my words. Needless to say I cannot say that God "will find nothing" when He examines me. My mouth continues to be my greatest nemesis! 

It is in regard to this issue that I have to pray over and over: "Lord, for the next 10 minutes will you help me to keep a guard on my tongue. Will you help me to remember to THINK before I speak?" The word THINK has been used as an acronym suggesting that before one speaks, these questions should be asked:

1)      It is True?

2)      Is it Helpful?

3)      Is it Important?

4)      Is it Necessary?

5)      It is Kind?

As you and I both know, I don't always remember to ask these questions... and so my mouth causes damage to myself and others. I am TRULY sorry. Will you pray for me to learn to speak words that are a healing balm to those who God places in my path? 

This story comes to mind:

 There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the fence. The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next few weeks as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily, gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence.

Finally the day came when the boy didn’t lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper. The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone.

The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence. He said “you have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one.” You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. It won’t matter how many times you say I’m sorry, the wound is still there. Make sure you control your temper the next time you are tempted to say something you will regret later. (Author Unknown)

The fact is words poorly spoken, whether in anger or by some other motive, leave scars behind. As the man told his son "It won't matter how many times you say I'm sorry, the wound is still there." There lies the consequence of sin that I mentioned.

I am thankful for a Heavenly Father who is willing to forgive. John's words in 1 John Chapter 2 are a comfort to me:

"My dear children, I write this to you so that you will not sin. But if anybody does sin, we have one who speaks to the Father in our defense—Jesus Christ, the Righteous One. He is the atoning sacrifice for our sins, and not only for ours but also for the sins of the whole world... We know that we have come to know him if we obey his commands. The man who says, “I know him,” but does not do what he commands is a liar, and the truth is not in him. But if anyone obeys his word, God’s love is truly made complete in him. This is how we know we are in him: Whoever claims to live in him must walk as Jesus did....  I write to you, dear children, because your sins have been forgiven on account of his name." (V1-6,12)

It is my deepest desire to live a life of obedience to God and that includes keeping a tight rein on my tongue. Like the boy, I can't go back and remove the scars caused by past words. However, I can strive to be sure that my hand no longer takes up the hammer to drive a nail in the first place. I'm so thankful for a God who does not give up on my in the midst of my failures.

"Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed,
    for his compassions never fail.
 They are new every morning;
    great is your faithfulness."

                              ~Lamentations 3:21-22

Reflections on a Letter from a friend - Pt 1

It's been about 3 weeks since I received your letter and I'm thanking God for it again today. You see, while much of what you said cut me deeply, My Loving Heavenly Father spoke to me through it. He has shown me some hard truths, sin in my life. There are consequences to sin and I know that I will not be saved from those consequences. I can only move forward and strive to leave the sinful things behind. So, that is what I'm working towards. I'm on a new journey, thanks in big part to the way God has spoken to me as I have continued to reflect upon your words and asked Him to show me where I need to change. 

Key to this journey has been to learn that God alone is my confidant. I'm working diligently to recognize boundaries in relationship. You see, something I've learned about myself is that I've fallen for the lie that I have "lots of friends". The problem is that I've translated that word "friends" way to liberally. I've behaved as if everyone who is nice to me is now my friend and so I share as I believe friends would share.... openly. The excuse I am tempted to use is that I am a "verbal" processor; I process things externally. I seem to have a "need" to say things out loud. "God created me that way and I just can't help it." A sad lie that I've told to myself for all my life! 

So now, I am learning to confide in God alone. I pray daily that He will help me to "sense" His presence... that I will feel His touch, will hear His voice, will see Him before me and beside me and behind me in all things. I'm trying to be more "Mary" and less  "Martha." One of the things I've always envied about you is the time you've had to be Mary. To sit at Jesus' feet... you "have chosen the greater thing and it will not be taken from you." In the last week or so, Jesus has been showing me that I can do that too... I just need to choose it as a priority. He has promised me that if I will set aside time for Him, He will honor that time by allowing me all the time I need to accomplish the other things in my life. So I'm sitting at His feet and finding an incredible joy that I never knew before. 

I'm learning to keep a tight rein on my tongue... not easy, but I'm working on it. Some habits are hard to break. I'm discovering boundaries and, when necessary, I am demanding that others know and keep those boundaries, too. In the past, I've always seen boundaries as walls to keep others out. I'm discovering the boundaries that are designed to keep us safe from harm... by our own hand or another.

Be still.

Sometimes I am overwhelmed by the great damage that believers do to one another in the name of our latest cause, opinion, etc. We spew hate at one another through our facebook status, we stand on our soap boxes and declare truth as we see it. Somewhere in the midst of it all we lose sight of Jesus. He gets buried in our agendas.

These days I have a deep longing to just hear Jesus... and no one else. I long to block out all the other voices that whisper and shout around me. Somewhere in the midst of all the noise is Jesus and I sometimes have trouble finding Him under all our "Holy" rubble...

But, at the end of the day, I know He is there waiting for me to still my heart and listen for Him to speak, calling tenderly: "Here I am follow me."

"Be still and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth." ~Psalm 46:10

When our morals are challenged.

Today I am in a difficult position as I consider what to do with this moral dilemma:

A couple who stayed here at the inn about 5 weeks ago has now made reservations to stay with me again. The problem is this: During their last visit, I learned that girl is a student at the local Christian college. As a graduate and former employee of this institution, I know that she has signed a document which would condemn these arrangements with her boyfriend... Certainly it is possible that this is an "innocent" arrangement, but still the two students are putting themselves in a situation where it would be easy to compromise their own standards. So what do I do?

Can I reject this request for reservation? If so, what excuse do I use? Am I honest about it, saying that I cannot play part in what I know is a willful disobedience of standards that the student has promised to live by? Is is my legal right to do so, or am I inviting a discrimination lawsuit?

Do I notify the institution? I'll be honest, I feel very strongly against doing this. The right thing to do is to approach the student. I do wonder, if I only deny the student access to a room here, is that going to change her behavior? Would discipline bring spiritual growth, or cause spiritual questioning?

One thing I know for sure it this, I didn't say anything to indicate my disapproval of their arrangements when they were here the first time. If I had, perhaps I wouldn't be dealing with the situation again. Aren't we that way sometimes? We overlook a sin, or shortcoming, thinking it's a one time indiscretion. We are quick to sweep it under the rug, or say "well, just this once. It's OK." Fear of being "quick to judge" sometimes means that we overlook an opportunity to speak truth into another person's life. Overlooking sin (big or small) in our own life or others, opens the door for Satan to do even greater work. When we look the other way once, we're sure to be challenged with opportunities to do it again and again, risking the chance of behavior that could become out of control.

So what do we do?

I'm still thinking about this, so no answers today. Feel free to write me about your thoughts on the subject.

Brokenness, Joy & Sorrow

You have walked this journey with me for many years.
You have given me a place to call home when I was homeless.
You have encouraged me when I've faced disappointment.
You have cried with me when I will filled with sorrow.
You have applied a healing balm to my many hurts.
You have accepted me for who I am, even when I am "ugly".
You have been Jesus with skin on so many times....
You were my first real glimpse of Who He Is.

I have finally found a joyful place in my journey.
I have found a place to call home while in this world.
I have overcome disappointments and fulfilled dreams.
I have found the joy that overcomes my sorrows.
I have experienced healing in many broken places.
I have learned to be less "ugly" and be more kind.
I have come to know Jesus dwelling in me in new and powerful ways.
I have done all these things because you have been my advocate.

And, in the midst of all this joy I have found there is sorrow.
Sorrow that you are a prisoner in your own home.
Sorrow over your disappointments and shattered dreams.
Sorrow that it is beyond my ability to help you find joy.
Sorrow over the brokenness of your life that I cannot heal.
Sorrow that only the "ugliness" of this world is real to you.
Sorrow that when I want to be Jesus with skin on for you,
I cannot. A door that only He can open is in the way.

So I pray for a miracle. Wait for a sign.
And I promise God that I would give up
everything that I have gained
Just to know that you've found His Joy.

Sound verses silence

One of the terrific lessons I've learned from my friend, Virginia, is to slow down!  Putting it in musical terms, I'm trying to be more adagio  (A tempo having slow movement; restful at ease.) and less allegro (A direction to play lively and fast.) I like this from Eric Starr as he talks about the use of rest notes in music: 

As a composer, you'll want to think about “sound versus silence.” Finding just the right balance is essential. In the end, this means knowing how to use rests effectively. There is nothing worse than music that sounds “busy” or “cluttered.” If you try to create dense music, it will probably sound chaotic and muddy. Instead, strive to craft natural, flowing music using the fewest notes.

Throw the word "life" in that paragraph everywhere that you see the word "music" and read it again. The question is how are we composing our lives? Are we "using rest effectively" or are we "chaotic and muddy"? 

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” ~Matthew 11:23-30