Reflections on a Letter from a friend - Pt 3

It's interesting how, when we are faced with our sins, we may be willing to approach some of the easier ones.... but then there are others, usually the greater ones, that we'd rather just sweep under the rug and forget about. Today, the Lord decided to move the rug and call me to deal with one of my greatest sins.  My Bible reading for today included Psalm 17 and this verse jumped off the page:

"Though you probe my heart and examine me at night,
    though you test me, you will find nothing;
    I have resolved that my mouth will not sin." (V3)

While I am not one to make "resolutions" at the beginning of the new year, after reading your letter, I did set a goal to be more careful of what I speak about and the attitude behind my words. Needless to say I cannot say that God "will find nothing" when He examines me. My mouth continues to be my greatest nemesis! 

It is in regard to this issue that I have to pray over and over: "Lord, for the next 10 minutes will you help me to keep a guard on my tongue. Will you help me to remember to THINK before I speak?" The word THINK has been used as an acronym suggesting that before one speaks, these questions should be asked:

1)      It is True?

2)      Is it Helpful?

3)      Is it Important?

4)      Is it Necessary?

5)      It is Kind?

As you and I both know, I don't always remember to ask these questions... and so my mouth causes damage to myself and others. I am TRULY sorry. Will you pray for me to learn to speak words that are a healing balm to those who God places in my path? 

This story comes to mind:

 There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the fence. The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next few weeks as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily, gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence.

Finally the day came when the boy didn’t lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper. The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone.

The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence. He said “you have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one.” You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. It won’t matter how many times you say I’m sorry, the wound is still there. Make sure you control your temper the next time you are tempted to say something you will regret later. (Author Unknown)

The fact is words poorly spoken, whether in anger or by some other motive, leave scars behind. As the man told his son "It won't matter how many times you say I'm sorry, the wound is still there." There lies the consequence of sin that I mentioned.

I am thankful for a Heavenly Father who is willing to forgive. John's words in 1 John Chapter 2 are a comfort to me:

"My dear children, I write this to you so that you will not sin. But if anybody does sin, we have one who speaks to the Father in our defense—Jesus Christ, the Righteous One. He is the atoning sacrifice for our sins, and not only for ours but also for the sins of the whole world... We know that we have come to know him if we obey his commands. The man who says, “I know him,” but does not do what he commands is a liar, and the truth is not in him. But if anyone obeys his word, God’s love is truly made complete in him. This is how we know we are in him: Whoever claims to live in him must walk as Jesus did....  I write to you, dear children, because your sins have been forgiven on account of his name." (V1-6,12)

It is my deepest desire to live a life of obedience to God and that includes keeping a tight rein on my tongue. Like the boy, I can't go back and remove the scars caused by past words. However, I can strive to be sure that my hand no longer takes up the hammer to drive a nail in the first place. I'm so thankful for a God who does not give up on my in the midst of my failures.

"Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed,
    for his compassions never fail.
 They are new every morning;
    great is your faithfulness."

                              ~Lamentations 3:21-22

When our morals are challenged.

Today I am in a difficult position as I consider what to do with this moral dilemma:

A couple who stayed here at the inn about 5 weeks ago has now made reservations to stay with me again. The problem is this: During their last visit, I learned that girl is a student at the local Christian college. As a graduate and former employee of this institution, I know that she has signed a document which would condemn these arrangements with her boyfriend... Certainly it is possible that this is an "innocent" arrangement, but still the two students are putting themselves in a situation where it would be easy to compromise their own standards. So what do I do?

Can I reject this request for reservation? If so, what excuse do I use? Am I honest about it, saying that I cannot play part in what I know is a willful disobedience of standards that the student has promised to live by? Is is my legal right to do so, or am I inviting a discrimination lawsuit?

Do I notify the institution? I'll be honest, I feel very strongly against doing this. The right thing to do is to approach the student. I do wonder, if I only deny the student access to a room here, is that going to change her behavior? Would discipline bring spiritual growth, or cause spiritual questioning?

One thing I know for sure it this, I didn't say anything to indicate my disapproval of their arrangements when they were here the first time. If I had, perhaps I wouldn't be dealing with the situation again. Aren't we that way sometimes? We overlook a sin, or shortcoming, thinking it's a one time indiscretion. We are quick to sweep it under the rug, or say "well, just this once. It's OK." Fear of being "quick to judge" sometimes means that we overlook an opportunity to speak truth into another person's life. Overlooking sin (big or small) in our own life or others, opens the door for Satan to do even greater work. When we look the other way once, we're sure to be challenged with opportunities to do it again and again, risking the chance of behavior that could become out of control.

So what do we do?

I'm still thinking about this, so no answers today. Feel free to write me about your thoughts on the subject.